Most people buy their first toy on a whim. They scroll through a webshop, see a hundred products that all look roughly the same, choose something that looks friendly, and hope for the best.

Sometimes it works out. More often, the thing ends up in a drawer after two uses, and no one dares to say out loud that they didn't like it.

That's not because you chose the wrong one. It's because you chose without knowing what you were choosing from.

Four questions that make it easier

1. External or internal?

This is the most important question and at the same time the one asked the least. Roughly speaking, there is external stimulation — the clitoris — and internal stimulation, the G-spot. Some toys do one, some do the other, and some do both at the same time.

Not sure? Then external is usually the best first choice. For most women, that is where the sensation begins, and a toy you use externally is less intimidating to try for the first time.

2. Vibrating, sucking, or licking?

Everyone knows vibration. Sucking is newer and feels fundamentally different: it is a pulsating pull instead of a buzz. Licking is a movement that mimics a tongue.

Anyone who has never tried anything before expects vibration and is often surprised by suction. That is precisely why a suction toy is a popular first purchase.

3. How quiet should it be?

If you live alone, it doesn't matter. If you live with roommates, have thin walls, or children in the hallway, this might be the most important feature. Below fifty decibels is quiet, below forty is truly silent.

There are people who get rid of their first toy because it was too loud, not because it didn't feel good.

4. Alone or together?

Toys used together have a different shape: rings, items you wear between you, or toys controlled by someone else via a phone. If you want to start together, you need a different category than if you are buying for yourself.

What not to do

Don't buy the most expensive one. Price says something about the number of features, not about how good something feels. A €25 toy that does exactly what you want is better than one for €60 that has ten settings of which you use two.

Don't buy something with too many functions. A toy that sucks, vibrates, licks, and thrusts sounds like value for money. In practice, you'll be fumbling with four buttons while you were supposed to be doing something else.

Don't choose based on the photo. Toys are photographed in bright colors against pink backgrounds. How something looks says nothing about how it feels. Read the dimensions and the number of settings, not the pictures.

A few practical things

Water-based lubricant, always. Silicone lubricant damages silicone toys. That is in every manual, and it is ignored everywhere.

Look at the charging method. Magnetic charging means no open port in the housing, and that is easier to keep clean.

Waterproof often doesn't mean waterproof. "Life waterproof" on the packaging usually means: rinsing is fine, submerging is not. If you really want to take it into the shower, check if it says IPX7.

And if you still don't know

Then that is no problem. Most people who have held a toy in their hands at an Amorouge evening didn't know what they were looking for beforehand either — they only knew once they had felt three models side-by-side.

That is exactly why those evenings exist. You are allowed to hold, turn on, and compare everything, and ask all the questions you can't ask on a webshop.

No idea where to start in the shop? Take a look at Danitia's choice: the toys she pulls out of the suitcase first herself.